… and why it always makes me cry
After doing my best to avoid watching WishBus’ newest SB19 release, I was finally granted a reprieve from work and was able to watch their “Liham” performance. It had come out a few days ago, but I wanted to make sure I had the time and emotional bandwidth to actually enjoy and appreciate it because if you don’t know already, this track happens to be my favorite from their SB19’s “Pagtatag” EP and has quickly become one of my favorite ballads EVER. Not just in OPM but of all time.
That being said, I’d be remiss to not say a word on this live performance, which, despite having seen numerous tweets about it, still managed to catch me by surprise and touch me in a way that other renditions hadn’t. I don’t know if it’s because the members were sitting down and were able to focus on their vocals or if it’s because I’m deep in post-concert depression/withdrawal, or it’s because I’m currently going through a particularly tumultous time personally, but the rawness in this performance made me cry. As in ugly-cry. I’ve cried over this song many times before, but this was a pull-over-by-the-side-of-the-road-while-I’m-driving-like-I’m-the-heroine-in-some-Korean-drama cry.
Their vocals were crisp and clear, highlighting each member’s unique sound and quality, coupled with the song’s beautiful melody and lyrics, made me emotional to the point of pain. I won’t go on about how it made me feel, because I think my love for this song is embarrassingly obvious (and to be honest, is not the point of this post), so I’ll just say the performance itself was wonderful.
That being said, I’ve had this draft in my blog folder since the first time I heard it, because I knew that at some point, I was going to do a deep dive on why and how this song has affected me in a way that none other has since Maxwell’s “This Woman’s Work” (the album version), which you can watch below if you are so inclined.
I’ve loved OPM (Original Pilipino Music) my whole life. It was the music I grew up with when I lived in the Philippines, and my love for it was one of the few things I carried with me even when I moved to America. And while I enjoy Filipino music both in English and Filipino, those that are written in our native language hold a special place in my heart. One of the things that is distinctly representative of a country’s culture is its language. It’s something that connects and binds people. It’s what allows people to communicate and understand one another. To me, the Filipino language is one of the most beautiful in the world, and to hear it used in a song like this only magnifies that appreciation.
As background for those who are just learning about the Philippines through SB19, it is an archipelago comprised of 7,461 islands in Southeast Asia, directly on the Western Pacific Ocean. It’s divided into three main geographical regions: Luzon, Visayas, and Mindanao. Its capital, Manila, is in Luzon, the northernmost part.
“Filipino” is a broad term used to identify anyone who is born in or coming from the country, but this group can still be divided into different ethnicities and cultures, speaking in roughly 170 dialects. Throughout the country’s history, it has been inhabited by native people called Negritos, followed by different groups of people throughout the Austronesian regions who did trade with the locals, and then, of course, by the Spaniards, Americans, and Japanese.
I won’t go into the full history of these conquests, as there is more informative and detailed content out there for anyone wanting to explore further. I mentioned this history as this is what shapes the Filipino language as we know it today, which is a mix of all of the languages these groups of people brought with them combined with what’s left of the native language that the oldest inhabitants spoke.
This language, in itself, was identified to be the national language as a form of standardization. With so many spoken dialects within the country, it would be near impossible to communicate even amongst each other without one formal language being taught to its citizens. Tagalog, which is the subset from which it was derived from, has always been the most extensively used in both the capital and the rest of the country.
Why am I delving into this when I’m supposed to be talking about SB19, and, more specifically, “Liham”? Well… SB19 is a Filipino group and “Liham” is a Filipino song, in Filipino, and while you may not need to know all this to be able to appreciate SB19 and their songs, some base knowledge may be useful.
Now, back to “Liham”. Some of SB19’s most well-known ballads have been about heartbreak and unrequited love, along with a song dedicated to parents. It was surprising that in their most recent EP that they came out with a track as love-centric as this song. And believe me when I tell you that I have never heard a love song like “Liham”, where it actually speaks of a current, ongoing love and not one that has already ended in heartbreak. I think one of the only genres that tackle this subject is the American country genre, but unlike American country songs that run the gamut from when a relationship starts to as its happening to when it ends, a lot of OPM ballads, or at least the ones I’ve loved throughout my life, have mainly dealt with a relationship’s end. Pain, after all, is a great inspiration.
That it is written and sung in the Filipino language lends “Liham” more credence and gravitas. That it doesn’t shy away from deep Filipino words makes it even more meaningful and beautiful in its essence. There is a language we all use in our everyday lives, and there is one we normally reserve for more formal functions, such as poems and novels, and in SB19’s case, for the best love letter to ever have been written.
“Liham” stands on its own as a proud, undying declaration of an active love. It speaks to a love even higher than what I know of love. Or any love I’ve ever known. Like I said in my Washington DC review (read here) https://everythingesbi19.wordpress.com/2023/08/31/sb19-pagtatag-world-tour-washington-dc-concert-review/), “Liham” talks about the very best kind of love- “unconditional, all-encompassing, and infinite”. It is love that will survive any and all of life’s trials and tribulations and withstand the test of time. It describes a love that enriches and emhances a person’s life, providing certainty and a promise for the future. It is, in all actuality, the type of love we all long for and should strive for, a love that we not only want but also need and deserve.
It doesn’t even matter that there is not one “I love you” in its lyrics. It goes beyond that in what it did choose to say, which is “I will love you,” marking the phrase with intention and surety, not always something that we get in any type of relationship. Its reflective phrases, such as when it asks “Paano kaya kung hindi tayo nagkita (What if we never met)? Ang buhay ko’y matatawag pa nga bang buhay (Can my life still be called a life)?” are questions we often think in the midst of being in love but seldom say out loud because they are filled with vulnerability and fear, and those are the scariest things to feel in any type of relationship.
Its lyrics, juxtaposed with its musical composition, feel like a story in itself. The quiet moments leading up to its crescendo almost represent the highs and lows and the peaks and valleys that occur in any love story.
That the song’s intended recipient is ambiguous, whether it is God, their fans, or any romantic partner, means that it can be applied to any situation that the listener chooses. For me, being the hopeless romantic that I am, chose the latter.
In my life, I’ve been in love a few times. In most of those relationships, I’ve been loved in return. But there has always been a feeling of inequality, wherein I was always the one who loved more. Hearing a song like this is both affirming and bittersweet, in that it reinforces that love like this exists, but also that I’ve not been the recipient of such love. It does, however, also makes me hopeful that such love is possible for me, and all of us, as long as we believe.
Everything SB19 